The Crossover Struggle of Warrior Princess Jorge
by Warrior Princess Jorge
Summary: The result of playing the "Story Game" for and hour and a half. Nothing is sacred, nothing is serious. Sex, death, and shenanigans, in an interesting nighttime telly type of way.


**Author's note: This story is the byproduct of the "Story Game," in which a group of people go around in a circle, adding each sentence/word/scenario in succession. It's like Mad Libs with absolutely no limits, and it gets ridiculous really quickly. Nothing in this story is to be taken seriously, and yes, I know it's totally dumb. But it was a fun hour and a half, and we decided to post it. Enjoy…maybe.**

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King Ferdinand von Loquacious ate hemorrhaging duck alongside Kanye. Kanye rode his ostrich – painted yellow – down kingdoms. Peasant-pheasants revered yellow fellows, who broke up with Justin Bieber. Duke Optimus Primus hated the King with a passion, so he plotted his demise daily. He brandished his petition with Kanye to assassinate the King with his hemorrhaging duck.

Saddling his ostrich, Warrior Princess Jorge greeted the peasant-pheasants with a snicker. Jorge, not knowing about the assassination plot, consulted his uncle, the King.

The King bellowed, "WHERE'S MY CONCUBINE, BANANA HAMMOCK II!?"

"Where are the yellow fellows?" whispered Jorge to the King.

"Banana Hammock knows," said the King.

"I have a bad feeling about today," replied Jorge.

Banana Hammock entered then, caked in Justin's blood, pulling the yellow fellows behind in a large bag.

Banana Hammock looked then to Jorge, and said, "You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you."

"Why would you kill the yellow fellows!?" Jorge gasped, staring coldly.

"We needed them no longer," said Banana Hammock. "We have what we need."

The King proclaimed, "Banana Hammock, thou art mine royal lay no longer! Raspberry Ribbon-Roper is!"

"I'm thinking," said Banana Hammock. "Where's Kanye?"

A flash of bright light filled the throne room, and a blue phone booth stood at the dais.  
The doors burst open, and Matt Smith's gleaming smile graced all those present.  
"Did someone call my name?" echoed the voice of the Eleventh Doctor.

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_Meanwhile, in Washington D.C…._

Obama and David Tennant discussed worldwide efficiency standards. As an agreement neared reaching, the Daleks and Cybermen appeared, and they and David Tennant curb-stomped Obama and took over Canada, and no one noticed. They then gave Nickelback a one-way ticket to outer space, which everyone noticed and celebrated.

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_Back in the throne room of King Loquacious…_

__"What just happened?" Princess Jorge asked.

The King pondered long and hard (giggity), when Matt Smith interjected.

"Well, you see, I have entered this space through a special timey-wimey window in the spacetime continuum. In another part of that timeline, my other self has aligned with other forces and taken over Canada. He sent Nickelback to space, too."

Finally, the King's hemorrhaging duck arrived on a platter. Voraciously digging in to his long-awaited meal, the injected poison – courtesy of Kanye and Duke Optimus Primus – took effect quickly. The King fell over choking, and raggedly whispered to Matt Smith,

_"I love you…"_

__and fell dead. Matt Smith fell to his knees, and screamed loud enough to wake the dead.

_"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"_

__With their captor distracted, the yellow fellows burst forth from their large bag prison. The yellow fellows advanced towards Banana Hammock in formation, snapping their fingers in arcs with each step.  
The lead yellow fellow produced a Makarov without warning, and shot Banana Hammock between the eyes. Banana Hammock fell over dead.  
Jorge stood stock-still, staring at the lead yellow fellow.

"Where the fuck did you get a gun?"

The yellow fellow said, in a tenor voice unexpected from such a small stature (did we mention they're dwarf-sized?),

"The fuck you care, son?"

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_Meanwhile, in the now-occupied Canada…_

__The dread demon Fatachu emerged from Lake Ontario – where David Tennant was having a romantic moment with one of the Cybermen – and opened his great maw to eat the terrified lovers. Tennant cried out "No! I'm not ready to go yet!" and was then ingested, along with the immediate shoreline.

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_Back to our friends in the throne room…_

While the yellow fellows and Princess Jorge were entwined in a Mexican standoff, King Thranduil burst from the floor tiles with a shower of glitter and fabulousness, shouting in a fanfare.

"I HAVE MATTERS TO DISCUSS WITH KING LOQUA, oh, damn, he's dead."

"Well, with Loquacious dead, I can now have my Japanese hardcore rap music festival here. Ain't like I need the motherfucker's permission anymore."  
Thranduil looked back into the hole he burst from, and motioned for others to enter.

"Alright, guys, we're in the clear!"

The cast of _Inuysaha_ then emerged, landing all at once.  
Yami appeared from the Eleventy-Fifth Dimension, and banished the _Inuyasha_ cast to the Shadow Realm.

Laughing haughtily, Yami gloated, "You guys are so 2002."

He then turned to face Thranduil, and spoke in the voice of royalty.

"As Pharaoh of the Ancient Lands, I challenge you, Thranduil of the Woodland Realm…"

Yami narrowed his eyes.

_"TO A DUEL!"_

__They sat down on the floor, criss-cross-applesauce, and began to play.

Thranduil won in four turns, because Yami had a habit of relying on the same five goddamned monsters, and the Elven king ripped those cards up as soon as they were Summoned (because there's not really a rule against that!). Yami, naturally, was banished to the Shadow Realm, where the cast of _Inuyasha_ took turns kicking his spiky-haired ass.

Warrior Princess Jorge, to this day, never figured out what the fuck went on that day.

THE END 


End file.
